Giving and receiving honest feedback effectively is one of the most important skills that a leader can have. It starts with being able to receive…
Creating a culture of feedback is important for many reasons. Firstly, it provides a level of motivation, recognition and feeling that the work they do matters when people receive honest, positive feedback. Secondly, honest conversations provide a real opportunity for people to learn and grow. Thirdly, it is crucial for ensuring that values are reinforced and lived and strategies are followed. Fourthly, it prevents an eruption inside the leader when dissatisfaction is kept within the person around an issue. Finally, if there is a problem that is not addressed this problem will only get worse and have more of a negative impact….Overall it keeps everybody and everything heading in one direction. It can literally make or break a situation. It can turn what is a problem into a positive change that benefits the whole practice. Or it can turn a problem into a major issue with a significantly underperforming individual who is affecting the broader team and the overall performance of the practice.
To help you give feedback more effectively you have to first be able to receive feedback appropriately. If you do not receive feedback well yourself, then it is likely that your team will follow suit and not receive feedback well either. You want an overall team culture of giving and receiving feedback. You have to set the example.
Receiving Feedback
It sounds easy right? Ok, I need to be able to receive negative feedback about myself and even solicit feedback about my own performance. Yet, I am sure that there are people reading this now who will be starting to shift uncomfortably in their seats. I am the boss, I know best, what right have they to tell me what is best? If not, then great! However, when did you last receive any feedback about your own performance? Last week? Last month? 3 months ago? Further? If it is further than 3 months ago does this mean that you have done everything right in the last 3 months? I would suggest not, but rather the reason that nobody has given you this feedback is partly because you may be the owner or boss or seen as being at a higher hierarchical level and maybe because you didn’t receive feedback effectively in the past. So, how do you change that?
I think the first thing is to recognise that feedback is one of the most important things in helping us to improve. Without that genuine perspective from the outside we are totally missing another perspective and ultimately a very important one in how our actions and behaviours are perceived from the outside and the impact they have on others, which is actually the key to great leadership. If you truly recognise this then you will be in a place of really wanting to receive the feedback.
The second thing is that you always have a choice with what you do with the feedback. By receiving it well, it doesn’t mean that you have to act on it. This is a choice you have, as others have when you give them feedback, but at least receive and understand the feedback so that you can then make an informed and effective choice. The problem is that sometimes people don’t take it that far because they feel threatened by it, go into a fight or flight response, become very defensive and never end up truly understanding what the feedback is.
Thirdly, remember that people are really making themselves vulnerable when they give you feedback. They are bravely giving you that feedback when many will not for fear of what the response and reaction may be. This is especially true if you are the owner of the practice. Bear this in mind when you respond….
You may well feel very defensive, especially as the feedback may well not have been delivered that well. It may also have come from somebody you don’t particularly like or believe is especially competent. Sometimes the people we don’t like can give us the greatest insight into how we can improve. It is down to you to see this as a real opportunity to learn and improve.
Practically, be on the lookout and recognise that it is feedback. When you notice that it is, before you do anything, I would always recommend saying something that will interrupt an automatic response. Perhaps something like ‘thank you for coming to me and giving me this feedback, I really do appreciate it’. Use your own words. If you believe in the value of it as above then you will be able to do this with authenticity and sincerity. Then I would say something like ‘I really want to fully understand the feedback that you are giving me. Please can you explain it again’ Seek to clarify what the person has said. If the feedback is generic then ask for specific examples so that you really can understand the feedback. Be genuinely interested. Once you have understood it, then summarise it back. If necessary take time to decide what to do with it. It is not the time to throw anything back against this person. Aside from helping you learn, what it also does is signal to the person that it is ok to give you feedback, in fact you really want that feedback. As a result they will give you more feedback. It also sets an example to your team members of how to receive feedback. From this will grow a culture of feedback, learning and improving.
Also, consider how you respond to positive feedback? Do you brush it off or ignore it? Feel slightly embarrassed and walk away? For some people it might feel quite uncomfortable to receive this praise. Again, I think it is important to acknowledge it, understand it and learn from it. What exactly are they saying was great? How can I learn from this? Aside from helping you grow and improve it will probably make you feel good (yes you can admit that) and more important it again sets the example to your team members, helping them learn, grow, improve and feel appreciated.
Be open, encourage and receive feedback effectively, not just on the business but about you and your performance.
